I have been thinking a lot lately, and one particular theme keeps popping up … choosing your own life. Not just going with the flow of what’s expected of you … but really making your own decisions, even hard ones, and making sure that the life you live is one you chose for yourself. This can require a lot of introspection, so you can avoid even sub conscious influence of the expectations of others, but I have found that the more I have moved towards things I truly want, and away from outside expectation, the happier I have become. And bear with me here, but I have a story which I think exemplifies this idea well, even if it is a fictional story.
For any other fans of The Office, I think you’ll enjoy this, but for those who have not yet enjoyed the frivolity and nonsense that is the characters and drama centered on the Dunder Mifflin Paper Company, I cannot recommend the series more. And one of the main story arcs through the 9 seasons was the relationship of Jim and Pam, which moved from Office friends, to star crossed lovers, to finally “It’s a date!”, love, marriage, and children. It was a story line I personally loved, and related to quite a bit, as I’m sure did many people who watched the series from the start.
In rounding out the characters, the show gives a lot of backstory and a lot of information of life outside the Office. And over the course of the 9 seasons, you see the pair not only fall in love and start a family, but, I think, really start to choose their own life. At the start of the series, both appear to have taken a path through life, and frankly, an Office job, purely out of following the expectations of others. Whether that’s true or not, neither one seems in love with their life, and certainly not in love with their jobs But the love and support they find in each other finally gives each the chance to chase their dreams and live a life of their own choosing rather than one of obligation.
Only once she is in a truly loving and supportive relationship with Jim, one in which she is fully supported to be herself, does Pam finally find the courage to pursue her true interests of art and design. Even in failing out of art school, she at least fails at something she truly chose for herself and can live her life knowing she tried. And while I’m sure those failures are painful, taking the chance is what allows her the freedom to incorporate her love of art into her life in other ways, as we see in the murals she paints in the final season.
It takes Jim a little longer, as he first builds his family, and then only surrounded by a loving family does Jim have the courage to invest and build his new business. The growth of his family is at least part of his impetus to do something that, by his own admission, he has not done before … try! Even his risk of starting his own business appears to be influenced by his memory of admitting his feelings to Pam, where if he hadn’t taken a leap, he certainly wouldn’t be where he is now. It was rocky at the start, but following his heart, literally, and expressing his feelings opened up such a wonderful world of love and family to him, it has to be right again for the new job.
This does not mean that things were perfect for them. The start of that new business had a lot of challenges for them both. There was a lot of miscommunication and misunderstanding. But Jim adjusting his focus back to Pam, back to the first time he really chose his own path, showed Pam the power of making those kind of choices, and let them finally both take the leap together.
I know this is a bit of an odd example, and some of you might not have followed it entirely, but whether were discussing fiction or reality, choosing your own life will always be the best answer. There is only so much time were are granted in this world, and making sure you choose your own life is the best way I know of to ensure you don’t waste it.
Managing my own mischief 
PSA- I’ve never watched The Office before because it didn’t peak my interest but I am always up to watching something new out of my comfort level or taste.
Now, back on track. I feel like “choosing your own life” seems more or less likely to choose yourself than your loved one or anyone else. If your choosing your life, your walking away from everybody and doing what makes you happy. Which is not a horrible task to do. In life, it should be more of saying what should “we” do and what can “we” do in our lives that we share together. When you were mentioning about the two characters, who were friends at first but sooner or later became in a relationship; they were stuck with their own pride of their so called life that they wanted but things didn’t happen as they planned. There’s nothing wrong with planning out your life but sometimes it never goes the way that you wanted. I believe that everything happens for a reason. I believe that we do get to choose what we want in our lives but when your with someone, it matters on what they think as well because they are apart of your life. Sharing your life with your loved one is important because your beginning a new chapter with them in each other’s lives. Also, your right; with not wasting any minute of yourself with your chosen life. You were created to be on this earth and to do the unthinkable things that you couldn’t imagine yourself to do. I feel like when your meeting someone or you’re future lover, I think those are the people who make us think on what we want to do with our lives. God sends people in our life in unexpected times and I believe that is a beautiful thing. In conclusion, it shouldn’t be all about “my chosen life,” it should be about “what should we do in our chosen life.” “We” is more powerful than “I.” We can do so much with each other rather than ourselves. It’s about everyone.
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I’m glad you’ve thought so much about this, and it’s clear you really thought through what you wanted to say. You seem to agree with most of what I wrote, but I want to clarify something you seem to see differently. I agree with you completely that when in a relationship with someone, you both need to choose your life together, but I don’t think that “choosing your life” necessarily means only doing what you want to do at any given moment. For example, if you choose your own partner, than building your life with them is part of that choice. But what I am talking about avoiding is settling for who you think you’re supposed to be with, when that person isn’t the one who sends your heart soaring. For a reference to the story in the Office I reference, Pam eventually chooses Jim over Roy, and for her, that’s a key time she chooses herself how her life is going to go, rather than going through the motions with the first guy she fell for. Later in the story, Jim has to prioritize Pam over his new career, as he realizes that that is the kind of life he wants to lead. There is the potential that sometimes people in your life won’t understand why you are making the choices you’re making, and if that progresses far enough, you may lose someone you care about … but those who truly love you should always understand you choosing your own life. As long as you’re not hurting anyone else in your decision, you will always have the support of those who really care about you. In fact, sometimes it’s a nice way to weed out those who don’t …
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